Frequently Asked Questions
Can I still be an actively engaged Jewish individual in Jewish life without belonging to a synagogue?
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Yes! While synagogue membership is a good thing, there are many ways to be affiliated as a Jew in Jewish life. Not belonging to a synagogue does not mean you are "unaffiliated," nor does it mean you cannot participate in all aspects of Jewish life. Indeed, there are an increasing number of Jews who are choosing not to belong to a synagogue. If you have specific questions, please contact me and we can discuss.
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In what other ways can I affiliate in the Jewish community?
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Jews like to pray together and while personal prayer is important so is being counted as part of a minyan, a quorum of at least 10 Jews. There has always been strength in community. For this reason and others, minyanim (minyans) and small groups are appearing throughout the United States with no requirement of membership. For other ways to actively identify there are Judaic classes for learning and Jewish organizations of every cause and stripe.
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Can I still retain the services of a rabbi without synagogue membership?
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Of course! There are many rabbis including me whose rabbinate is solely to serve God by administering to the needs of Jews who do not belong to synagogues.
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Can my son/daughter still become Bar/Bat Mitzvah without belonging to a synagogue?
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Of course! This rite of passage in a young person’s life never stipulated synagogue membership nor must a Bar/Bat Mitzvah be conducted only in a synagogue.
There are numerous ways for an individual to receive an excellent Jewish education marked by becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah at the appropriate age. Many families with busy schedules find getting to the synagogue 2 - 3 times each week too difficult so they utilize private teachers. And, there are other ways as well. There are new, interactive on-line schools accessed at times which are coordinated with busy schedules. This is one of the many paths our educational institutions, both secular and non-secular, at all levels are employing. There are blended educational models in which online learning is combined with weekly or monthly in-person attendance with other students. Some families together develop their own “pods” of Jewish learning for their children employing their own educator(s). There have always been a variety of ways to make sure our children receive a Jewish education. Of course, it’s also important to remember that Jewish education does not end with a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. |
Must an adult belong
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No, synagogue membership is not required. All that is required to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at the designated age or beyond is a Jewish education including some proficiency in Hebrew and a Torah scroll. Rabbis, including me, often work with adults who never had the opportunity to become Bar/Bat Mitzvah when they were young.
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Are you available to officiate at
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Yes! In my experience, most lifecycle events do not take place in synagogues. Weddings often take place in other venues including hotels, public spaces and reception halls. Memorial services are often held in chapels or at graveside, as are Dedications. Baby namings are often held in homes. As discussed above, B'nai Mitzvah can be held in any number of venues.
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Are you available to teach?
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Yes! Rabbis are educators; the word "rabbi" means teacher. I love to teach people of all ages, from toddlers to mature adults. I have been teaching Judaica at every level for years, for Jewish educational institutions as well as privately. Please visit Lifelong Learning.
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Do you officiate at
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All marriages require good communication and the ability to compromise. Refusing to participate in an interfaith wedding will not prevent the couple from getting married nor will it endear them to feeling motivated to perpetuate Jewish life. Once an interfaith couple is married, most congregations embrace them willingly and joyfully.
I became a rabbi to help perpetuate Judaism and the Jewish people. Under certain parameters and circumstances, I will officiate at interfaith weddings. Every couple is different presenting highly individualized needs. This is something I discuss with every interfaith couple privately and with great sensitivity. |
If a lifecycle event is going
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Yes, these days many weddings are held out of town and I am available to officiate at these weddings. Indeed, many weddings today are “destination” weddings requiring that everyone including the rabbi travel to the destination.
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What about Yahrzeit Remembrance services? |
It is traditional to attend services for the annual Yahrzeit observance and recite Kaddish. Although there are no prescribed prayers, Yahrzeit observances are often special, introspective moments that can be filled with heartfelt readings, personal reminiscences and prayer. To create a highly personalized time for such remembrances, I am available to visit your home and facilitate this very honored time with you, your family and dearest friends. Learn more.
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